Eulogy by Mark Golub

You have a choice in life regardless of your circumstances.  You can view your glass as half empty and make excuses for yourself or half full, see your potential and then overcome your challenges.  My Dad’s glass was not half full.  He viewed it as ¾ full no matter what, and MAN did he overcome.  He was a true optimist.

Each and every challenge, whether it was at work, at play or health related, he made the best of each situation.  A challenging student, no problem.  He helped them through their difficulties and we learn years later that he made such a significant difference that he literally saved many students from going down the wrong path.  Many said that Dad was like a father figure to them back in the day.  Reading responses on Facebook yesterday from so many former students’, ex-colleagues and parents, Dad had a very unique and memorable fun way of teaching.  He was known to have implemented the Golubian method to so many.  He helped many overcome their fear of speaking in public by creating funny, quirky ways to get through that difficult.

Dad’s intense delight and fascination with rocks and stones are the cornerstones of a lapidary program which he introduced at Lavallee School in the once called St. Vital School Division.  When he accidentally learned how one could turn ‘ordinary’ rocks into gems, it all began.   Dad's words when interviewed by Manitoba Teacher Newspaper were, “I was fascinated. I was excited.  Eventually, I got to thinking that if this excited me, it had to excite my students. That’s how it began.  It takes time and energy but when you’re excited about something, it’s amazing what you can do.”  Dad referred to lapidary as a “craft and theme – a great incentive for students to learn almost anything, from basic skills in reading, writing and arithmetic to a second language.”  Dad’s program was one of a kind and he raised $1000’s for equipment and a lab renovation as well as funding from sales of the products made by students. Due to his efforts, in 1983, Dad was one of two winners to receive the very prestigious Hilroy Fellowship Program which was in honor of the lapidary program that brought field work and classroom activities to his students.  He also won the Emerson Arnett award for his efforts in 1982 for teaching excellence. Speaking as a teacher, this was truly truly special.  Dad’s passion in the classroom has spilled out onto my students over the years as I reminisce.  I have not only shared stories about him but have often found myself going the nth degree to bring new experiences to my students.  Thank you Dad for that inspiration and drive.

Dad also had an intense fascination with Edgar Alan Poe and I do not have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I heard his former students mention how much they loved Language Arts class as a result of studying Poe.  Again, truly special.

Need a basement, no problem. Dad designed and built the funkiest 70’s recroom ever.  It was absolutely awesome! When it was time to move to their second home, it was tough finding a design both he and Mom really liked. No problem.
He designed one and drew it up.  His design eventually became a mainstream plan for professional builders.

Don’t like having a fire-station built practically next door and no one taking the lead to object.  No problem.  Dad organized community residents to petition this project and put together an argument written proposal to be presented at city council. At the time of presentation, Dad was in hospital and bestowed it upon me to present to council.  Let’s just say that the fire-station is now in a more appropriate location and all of the Seven Oaks Crossings Residents never awoke to sirens.  It was an honor to have that experience.

One New Year’s Eve, we were all informed together that Dad was going to lose his 2nd leg the next day due to long-term circulation issues. What did he do that evening?  He partied with laughter and played cards with his close friends and loving wife like it was no big deal.  He accepted that ¼ empty glass and pressed on.  We all did.

Dad’s strength and determination for living a long prosperous life, surrounded by so many constant health barriers is so well represented by the tiny Spruce tree sapling he planted when he was a child.  It now stands proud, 60-70 feet high in the front yard where he grew up. It is a survivor just like Dad was.

As a child, my Dad gave me the privilege of joining him as he proudly showed off his son on School field trips and helped me integrate with the older grade 7-9 kids.  I think I officially flirted with a girl for the first time when I tried to pull in one of his grade 9 female students into the hotel swimming pool to swim with me during a band trip. Not sure if it was hormones or her bathing suit.  Maybe both.

Dad always liked to reminisce about the rock hounding trip he took me and his students on in Souris, Manitoba.  This is where I learned his love for lapidary and jewelry making.  Taking a rough stone, shaping and polishing it to make it a gem.  Dad loved doing this for my Mom and made her countless pieces of opal jewelry.

As a youngster, Dad often took me with him to his bowling league games at Polo Park and sometimes to his curling games.  He taught us how to golf and always enjoyed watching me, Mom and Mike develop our game over the years.  His favourite phrases were, “Keep your head DOWN” and “What a Beautiful Shot”.  In his prime, Dad shot high 70’s and low 80’s quite often and was always very proud of his par 5 Clear Lake Golf Course Eagle.  When I was in my late 20’s, he told me about a Jack Nicklaus technique called the chip n’ run.  I use it to this day with success sometimes.   I paid that little piece of knowledge forward to our dear friend Doug Tiltman and low and behold, a man who rarely golfs chips the ball over a stream into the hole 40 feet away for a birdie at 17th hole at Clear Lake. I got a par.

I along with many of my friends remember Dad looking in on us and making us breakfast during all of our sleepovers.  When I was going through a rough time atschool, I always cherished our 1 hour Star Trek time on TV before bed.  Made me feel at ease.

Dad coached both mine and Michael’s soccer teams as well, always cheering us on.   Dad helped me learn how to write a good essay during high school and to this day that skill has helped me immensely in my teaching and business ventures.  Much like his father, Dad’s gift of writing is so apparent in all of the birthday cards to us and love letters to Mom over the years. He had a way with words.

I think mine and Mike’s favorite words to hear from our Dad was “Toot”.  That was his nick name for us which came from a Hercules cartoon character.  “Hi Toot” or “Hi Tooty”.  Funny, at the lake a few weeks ago after a late night game of Rummicube, that show was on and we shared a good laugh about that as we watched the silly cartoon together.

Like it was yesterday, I remember the day my Dad came home to tell us he was going to be on Hemo-Dialysis. I was 13 years old.  I cried.  I learned that he had to dialyse 5-6 hours a day, 3 days a week.  I had no idea that would go on for 10 solid years.  This is what made our summer trips to Clear Lake even more special.  Now unable to travel anywhere within reach of a Manitoba dialysis clinic, we cherished our summer trips to the lake as it was our best option and kept up tradition.  Despite how important Clear Lake was to my Dad, he ensured his wife and kids would have a summer vacation each year.

To make this happen, Dad travelled back and forth to Winnipeg every M-W-F to dialyse…for 10 solid years.  This insane inconvenience was one of his amazing sacrifices for his family.  By doing so it allowed us to create so many amazing memories.  Canoe trips, biking, golfing, stargazing, meteor shower watching, our many telescope viewing sessions, critter hunting, lawn bowling, cycling and amazing dinners and games at night with our close friends.  Clear Lake was where I charged my mental and physical batteries each year. Whether it was swimming across the lake or cycling to Dauphin or doing the Riding Mountain Triathlon, it was my opportunity to grow and challenge myself to reach new heights. It was where I captured most of my celestial photography like the Northern Lights that turned out to be a very special activity for all of us.   It was Michael’s opportunity to grow and challenge himself as well and Mom’s opportunity to relax and recharge after a long work year.  Thank you Dad for your amazing sacrifice and fortitude.  We will ALWAYS cherish it.

Despite our unconditional love, it was a major part of the driving force that created the intense desire for Mike and I to give so much back to you with all of your needs over the years as we grew up and were able to do so.  Two Fridays ago, while I was wheeling you back to the cabin from Planet of the Apes late at night, you asked me if I would be coming back to Clear Lake like this was our last time there together.  I don’t know how I held my tears back but I told you, “Absolutely, I love it here”.  He said, “Good”.  Clear Lake has a place in our hearts forever and you can count on it that all 3 of us will be going back many many times.  It is more special than anywhere else for me.

Despite hating that we had to reverse roles so early in our lives so many times, it was an absolute honor and privilege to do so and witness such strength. It brought us closer together in a very unique way.  Your strength has had an impact on my teaching.  I have shared many stories about you with my Biology students over the years.  You are a medical miracle.  Your strength has had an impact in my other ventures as well that you are keenly aware about and will be in everything I do until my last breath.  I know you have witnessed that with many things both Mike and I have accomplished over the years.  Dad, this is one of your legacies that you can be proud of in both of us.

Dad, it is unreal how often you had a smile on your face.  In good health or not, you always seemed to find joy or bring joy to others. I cannot count on how many times you immediately removed the awkwardness of passing pedestrians as we wheeled by them by simply throwing them a smile.

As Dad learned how to use the computer, Internet and email, he also rekindled his love of coin collecting, grading, trading and selling.  He successfully completed a two part CNA numismatic Correspondence course.  He enjoyed keeping records of small transactions just like his father did many years ago with his business.  He developed so many new faceless friends that cherished his friendship as well as many others did at the local coin shows. One special memory.  When Dad was in hospital, I walk in to find Dad chatting it up with his neighbour as he always seemed to do.  He made people in bad situations always feel better.  I remember he asked the wife of a patient to pull out the coins in her purse so he could take a look at them.  You can imagine her reaction at that moment.  He found a quarter that was valuable and offered to grade it and sell it for her.  That quarter was worth about $400.00 and months later, he sent her the cheque for it.  Beautiful.

This past month Dad’s energy was clearly declining.  Despite that fact, we all had some good times in Dad’s last few weeks.  One of my favourites was playing a cribbage tournament with him at the lake.  During one game, I was winning by 30 points or so towards the end of the game.  I offered him a deal.  I would forfeit the game in exchange for a 30 point lead on the next game and credit for a win if I won.  If he won, he would get credit for 2 games.  He contemplated and politely declined.  10 minutes later, Murray won by 1 lousy point.  I looked up at him and said, “Are you F’in kidding me?”  He looked at me with this smug confident smile of pure content of doing to me what he described his father did to him so many times during their crib games.  Then we both cracked up in laughter.  His next words were, “Would you like another game or have you had enough?”

As I write this speech to you Dad, Mom informs me that she told you after cards with your friends last Saturday, no more company until the kitchen renovations are done that you guys planned so hard to design.  And what do you end up doing 3 days later?  Now we have lots more company.  Mom and I needed that laugh at 3 am last night.  Just like you to be a bit of a smart ass much like you were on your final trip in the ambulance to the hospital, I love your sense of humour no matter where you are.

I am going to end this with something I know my Dad has told us many times and would want me to say today.  This also comes from the bottom of my heart with the upmost pride. I have thought about saying this today for so many years.  I am so deeply proud of the 4 of us.  Both Michael and I have utilized our personal educational strengths and time for so many years to help Dad and Mom through so many hardships as Dad’s health continually declined.  We worked like a true team to organize and handle so many exhausting and complicated issues, it is absolutely mind boggling.  We NEVER gave up.  Neither did Mom and neither did Dad.  That energy and determination for life and keeping the 4 of us together despite the incredible difficulties flowed through us all and we fed off each other.   As a result we were able to continue amidst all the random chaos. We had so many great times.

My Mom is the epitome of a devoted wife and mother who has had a real test of her marital vows.  Till death do us part is an understatement.  Mom gave every ounce of energy, love, psychological and physical support to Dad when he needed it for so many years.  Marrying a diabetic, she knew complications could arise, yet her love for Dad overcame that worry and when those complications became a new reality for her, she came through.  Details are not necessary here today.  Rest assured, words cannot describe the level of devotion she had for him and he to her. I am so so proud of us all.

Dad, your life has been like an incredible labyrinth.  Full of adventures and accomplishments.  Full of hurdles with twists and turns that you have succeeded and overcome.  And as the path to that fearful exit approached, you found it peacefully.  I hope you are enjoying a game of cards and a bowl of chicken soup with Baba and Zaida.

I miss you so much already I cannot even describe it.  You will never be forgotten.  Your stories, your energy, your life will be shared with many others for the rest of my life.  You are the strongest man I have ever known.  You are my hero and will be in my heart forever.  I love you so much.  Good-Bye Daddy.